The Musical of Extraordinary Gentlemen
by Krisian Rose
Summary: I shall make the League break ino song and dance... because I can! SCENE 15 - Quatermain’s a big boy. Let him take care of his own life…
1. Hey, A Movie!

A/N: Right-o, this is just something to keep me amused while the rest of my brain goes vacationing on planet Writer's Block. [Urk, I _hate _that planet.] The idea popped into my head when I found that a theater in my area was running a show called _Jekyll and Hyde: The Musical. _Yes, really. Jekyll does a duet with himself. I'm serious! [I _still_ want to go see it, just out of curiosity!] Anyway, on to the music!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Period. Oh, the song is _Hey, A Movie _from _The Great Muppet Caper_

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[We, the audience, find ourselves in a very dismal alley. Suddenly the alley is flooded with light and the music begins! The Nemomobile comes around the corner, carrying the League]

[The car stops, and the League disembark]

**Quatermain**: _There'll be spectacle _

**Mina**: _There'll be fantasy _

**Sawyer**: _There'll be daring do _

_And stuff like you would never see _

**All**:_ Hey! A movie! _

_Yeah! We're gonna be movie _

_Starring everybody _

**Nemo**: _And me!  
  
_

**Sawyer**: _There'll be heroes bold_

**Skinner**: [sneaks up on Mina with a mischievous grin] _There'll be comedy  
  
_

**All**: _And a lot of fuss _

_That ends for us real happily _

_Hey! A movie! _

**Jekyll**: _We can watch it all develop _

_Starring everybody _

**Hyde**_: _[in Jekyll's head]_ And me! _[Jekyll shudders]_  
  
_

**Nemo**: _We'll take the world _

_And set it on its ear _

**Sawyer** & **Quatermain**: _Come on join in _

_We're gonna start right here   
  
_

**Dorian**: _There'll be crooks and cops _

_There'll be villainy _[grins]_  
  
_

**All** [except Dorian]: _But with us on call _

_We'll fix it all real easily_

**Dorian**: Yeah, right. [The others glare at him]

**All**: _Hey! A movie! _

**Sawyer**: _Wow! It's gonna be terrific _

_Starring everybody _

**Mina**_: And me! _

**Skinner**: _There'll be mystery _

**Nemo**: _And catastrophe _[something explodes in the background]__

**All**: _But it's all in fun _

_You paid the money wait and see _

_Hey! A movie! _

**Dorian**:_ Is there any way to stop it!? _[The others glare at him again]__

**All**: _Starring everybody _

_Everybody _

_Everybody _

**Quatermain**:_ And me!_

[Big finish! The Fantom's tank comes smashing through the alley, and the League scatters until the next scene!]

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A/N: My God, I have no life. Anyway, this fic is just pure folly, so if you hate it, I don't care. The next time my brain takes a vacation; this'll be what I work on. Oh joy of joys.


	2. Where Is My Hairbrush?

A/N: Wow. People actually _like _this. Go figure! I originally thought I was going to try and follow the movie and just insert little songs everywhere, but I couldn't come up with any songs to go with the beginning – so I shall have just a series of vignettes. Fun, fun, fun! XD Thank you to all of you who reviewed! It's nice to know my sense of humor is appreciated somewhere!__

**Etcetera Kit – **Did you say _Muppet Treasure Island? _That is my favorite movie of all time! Now I'm going to have to hunt down your fic and read it!

**Chasten-chan – **I hope you didn't hurt yourself when you fell! XP

**A.L. Nowicki – **Hey! Don't ruin it for me! I still haven't seen _Jekyll & Hyde: The Musical._

**Clez – **Yes, you can have some more. Here it is.

**_Disclaimer: _**I still own nothing. That hasn't changed, but the song has. It is _The Hairbrush Song _from _Veggie Tales: Are You My Neighbor?_

**

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**

[The League has regrouped after the scattering incident, and now they are aboard the Nautilus. We find ourselves in one of the bathrooms – Skinner's to be exact. He is just getting out of the bathtub and puts a towel around his waist.]

**Narrator **[with a _very_ corny British accent]**:** Our curtain opens as Rodney Skinner, having just finished his morning bath, is searching for his hairbrush. Having no success, Skinner cries out...

**Skinner:** _Oh, where is my hairbrush? _

_Oh where is my hairbrush? _

_Oh, where, Oh, where, _

_Oh, where, Oh, where, _

_Oh, where, Oh, where, _

_Oh, where, Oh, where Oh, where ... _

_Is my hairbrush? _

**Narrator:** Having heard his cry, Captain Nemo enters the scene. Shocked and slightly baffled as to why Skinner would even bother putting a towel around his waist, Nemo regains his composure and reports...

**Nemo:** _I think I saw a hairbrush back there! _[He leaves]

**Narrator: **Now Skinner, having heard the good news, joyously proclaims...

**Skinner:** _Back there is my hairbrush. _

_Back there is my hairbrush._

_Back there, back there, _

_Oh, where, back there, _

_Oh, where, oh, where, _

_Back there, back there, back there... _

_Is my hairbrush!_

**Narrator:** Having heard his joyous proclamation, Dorian Gray enters the scene. Shocked and slightly baffled as to why Skinner would even bother putting a towel around his waist, Dorian regains his composure and comments...

**Dorian **[in a very condescending way]**:**_ Why do you need a hairbrush? You don't have any hair! _[He leaves]

**Narrator:** Skinner is taken aback. The thought had never occurred to him. No hair? What would this mean? What will become of him? What will become of his hairbrush? Skinner wonders...

**Skinner:** _No hair for my hairbrush. _

_No hair for my hairbrush. _

_No hair, no hair,_

_Nowhere, no hair, _

_No hair, no hair, _

_Nowhere back there, no hair... _

_For my hairbrush._

**Narrator:** Having heard his wonderings, Wilhemina Harker enters the scene. Shocked and slightly baffled as to why Skinner would even bother putting a towel around his waist, Mina regains her composure and confesses...

**Mina:** _Skinner, that old hairbrush of yours... _

_Well, you never use it, you don't really need it. _

_So, well, I'm sorry... I didn't know. _

_But I gave it to Sawyer... _

_'Cause he's got hair! _[She leaves]__

**Narrator:** Feeling a deep sense of loss, Skinner stumbles back and laments...

**Skinner:** _Not fair! Oh, my hairbrush. _

_Not fair! My poor hairbrush. _

_Not fair, not fair, _

_No hair, not fair, _

_Nowhere, no hair, _

_Not fair, not fair, not fair! _

_My little hairbrush! _

**Narrator:** Having heard his lament, Tom Sawyer enters the scene. Himself in a towel, both Skinner and Sawyer are shocked and slightly baffled at the sight of... each other. But recognizing Skinner's generosity, Sawyer is thankful...

**Sawyer:** _Thanks for the hairbrush._

**Narrator:** Yes, good has been done here. Sawyer exits the scene. Skinner smiles, but, still feeling an emotional attachment for the hairbrush, calls out...

**Skinner:** _Take care of my hairbrush. _

_Take care, oh my hairbrush. _

_Take care, take care, don't dare not care. _

_Take care. Nice hair. No fair. _

_Take care, take care... _

_of my hairbrush._

**Narrator:** The end!

**

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**

A/N: Oh the insanity! Oh the writer's block! Oh… kay. I'm going now. Hehehe. I think Jekyll should get to sing something next, since he wasn't in this one. XD Hm, neither was Quatermain. Oh well, I'll think of something.


	3. We're Buds

A/N: I'm baaaack! ::scary music:: Here I am, at school and bored during my off-hour. So, what do you get when Krisian is bored during her off-hour? MORE MUSCIAL MADNESS! Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Muppet plushies for everyone who reviewed! XD Hehehe! This is fun! My other fics were getting kinda depressing anyway. I need to unleash the craziness! XD

**Disclaimer:** We've been over this before. You _should _know what I own and what I don't by now. Oh, except for the song. You probably need to know that, don't you? It's _We're Buds_ from the loverly [but sadly no longer airing] TV show _The Brak Show, Starring Brak. _

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[Jekyll sits opposite a mirror, so we can see Hyde… How we can _hear _him is beyond me, but we can! Otherwise, this would be a very one-sided duet. Let the music begin!]

**Jekyll:** _I'm not like you, _

**Hyde:** _And you're not like me. Hee hee! _

**Jekyll:** _We're about as different _

**Hyde:** I know! _As different can be. _

**Jekyll:** _We don't look the same. _

**Hyde:** _We don't act the same. _

**Jekyll:** _We're from different species _

**Hyde:** _With different names. _

**Jekyll:** _You're from in my head. _

**Hyde:** _You're from somewhere else. _

**Jekyll:** _I wear a tidy suit._

**Hyde:** _And it really smells! _

**Both:** _We're buds, we're buds, _

_Through thick or thin,_

_Side by side _

**Hyde:** _Like bowlin' pins! _

**Jekyll:** _They say that opposites attract. _

**Hyde:** _That's right, _

**Jekyll:** _It's a fact, _

**Hyde:** _Oh yeah, _

**Both:** _We're buds! _

**Hyde:** Sing it, Henry!

**Jekyll:** _Though you're not like me, _

**Hyde:** I toldja, I know!__

_And I'm not like you. _I toldja.

**Jekyll:** Edward, we must have **something** in common.

**Hyde:** Sure! Well, um, no - I don't believe we do.

**Jekyll:** _You're so brash and bold._

**Hyde:** _You're so cool and calm. _

**Jekyll:** _I own a big old house,_

**Hyde:** _I live in your cranium! _

**Jekyll:** _I'm extremely smart._

**Hyde:** _I'm extremely not. _

**Jekyll:** _I like vichyssoise!_

**Hyde:** _I like tater tots! _

**Jekyll:** _You got great big teeth!_

**Hyde:** _They came with my head! _

**Jekyll:** _Don't know how or why,_

**Hyde:** _But it's like we said! _

**Both:** _We're buds, we're buds, _

_Through high and low, _

**Hyde:** _Like Fred and Ricky on the Lucy Show! _

**Jekyll:** _They say that opposites attract. _

**Hyde:** You got that right, Henry!

**Jekyll:** _And it must be true, hey, it's a fact! _

**Both:** _It's a fact, _

**Hyde:** _Oh yeah, _

**Both:** _We're buds! _

**Hyde:** I harmonized there and it was pretty.

**Jekyll: **Yes, I heard you.

**Both: **_We're buds!_

_We're buds! _

**Hyde: **Hey, Henry, since we're such good buds now, how about letting me out?

**Jekyll: **Not on your life.

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A/N: My friends all think I'm crazy. XD Well, they have every reason to! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!


	4. Professional Pirates

A/N: My sister is amazed that this idea, which she thought was very strange, is getting such a response! Well, I had a couple of people tell me I should tackle a song from _Muppet Treasure Island _next – so here we go.

**Clez – **Such compliments!Really, I'm flattered.Pray continuing!

**funyun – **Silly songs with Rodney! Yay! Erm… XD doesn't _stand _for anything. It's an extremely overjoyed smiley.

**morph – **Absurd? Is that a good thing? Ooh, crazy funny. Huzzah!

**Raven Silvers – **Wow. I'm on your favorites list now? I'm flattered. [Again.]

**Chasten-chan – **Stop falling! You're going to hurt yourself! XD I've never seen _Buffy the Musical_. [I only watch Angel, hence "Welcome to My World."] Sorry 'bout that.

**Lily Bengal –** The Hairbrush song is quite amusing when done in a Cockney accent, innit?

**elven-emma – **Tater tots indeed! [Yum… now I'm hungry…]

**_Disclaimer: _**Still own nothing, probably won't ever own anything. Ah, oh well. And now the moment you've all been waiting for… the song is _A Professional Pirate _from _Muppet Treasure Island. _[And there was much rejoicing… Yay.]

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[Today we find Sawyer, Quatermain and Nemo wandering aimlessly around the Nautilus. Sawyer is very bored, and perhaps still recovering from the hairbrush incident, and decides to strike up some conversation.]

**Sawyer: **So, captain, I heard a rumor somewhere that you're a pirate. That ain't true, is it?

**Quatermain: **[chuckles]

**Nemo: **Perhaps I am.

**Sawyer: **You're not a pirate… pirates are… are…

**Nemo:** [sighs] Allow me to educate you about pirates, Agent Sawyer.

[music begins] _When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation_

_My father said, "Now son, this choice deserves deliberation_

_Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier_

_My boy, why not consider a more challenging career?"_

**Crew **[come rushing from all directions]**:** _Hey ho ho_

_You'll cruise to foreign shores_

_And you'll keep your mind and body sound_

_By working out of doors_

**Nemo:** _True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without_

**All:** _And when you're a professional pirate_

**Ishmael:** _That's what the job's about_

**Nemo:** Upstage, lads, this is my **only** number! [A few crewmembers hoist him onto a nearby table]

_Now take Sir Francis Drake, the Spanish all despise him_

_But to the British he's a hero and they idolize him_

_It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good_

_And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood_

**Crew:** _Hey ho ho_

_We're honorable men_

_And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten_

**Nemo:** _On occasion there may be someone you have to execute_

**All:** _But when you're a professional pirate_

**Skinner **[who is devoid of all clothes]**:** _You don't have to wear a suit... _[the crew glare at the place Skinner's voice came from] What?

**Crewmember #1 **[a rather scary-looking individual]**:** _I could have been a surgeon_

_I like taking things apart!_

**Ishmael:** _I could have been a lawyer_

_But I just had too much heart_

**Crewmember #2:** _I could have been in politics_

_Cause I've always been a big spender_

**Crewmember #3:** _And me... I could have been a contender_

**Nemo:** _Some say that pirates steal and should be feared and hated_

_I say we're victims of bad press it's all exaggerated_

_We'd never stab you in the back, we'd never lie or cheat_

_We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet_

**All:**_ Hey ho ho_

_It's one for all for one_

_And we'll share and share alike with you and love you like a son_

_We're gentlemen of fortune and that's what we're proud to be_

_And when you're a professional pirate_

**Nemo:** _You'll be honest brave and free_

_The soul of decency_

_You'll be loyal and fair and on the square_

_And most importantly_

**All:** _When you're a professional pirate_

You're always in the best of company 

[The crew then disperses as if this musical number never took place]

**Nemo **[hops off the table]**: **Now, what were you saying about pirates?

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A/N: Ah. I love that movie. Next up, I have a song in mind for Mina. ::evil-type laughter:: Until next time!


	5. That Don't Impress Mina

A/N: Look who's back! Me, and my musical madness! Thanks to all who reviewed!

**Disclaimer: **I'm no closer to owning any of these people than I was four chapters ago. Darn. Anyway, today's featured song is _That Don't Impress Me Much _by Shania Twain.

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[Today, we find dear Whilemina Harker getting all but pounced on by three certain League members that are intent on winning her affections. Right now, all they're doing is annoying her. This should be fun!]

**Mina: **[rolls her eyes and approaches the nearest of her three would-be suitors – Dr. Jekyll]

[cue music!] _I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart _

_But you've got being right down to an art _

_You think you're a genius – you drive me up the wall _

_You're a regular original, a know-it-all _[she tugs playfully on Jekyll's tie]

_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special _

_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else_

Okay, so you're a rocket scientist

_That don't impress me much _

_So you got the brain but have you got the touch _

_Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright _

_But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night _

_That don't impress me much _

**Dorian: **[begins laughing at the look on Jekyll's face]**__**

**Mina:**[glares at Dorian and moves in for the second verse]

_I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket _

_And a comb up his sleeve – just in case _

_And all that extra hold gel in your hair oughtta lock it _

[she grabs Dorian's collar, messes up his hair, then pushes him away]

_'Cause Heaven forbid it should fall outta place _

_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special _

_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else_

Okay, so you're a gorgeous immortal

_That don't impress me much _

_So you got the looks but have you got the touch _

_Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright _

_But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night _

_That don't impress me much _

[Suddenly, Tom Sawyer comes driving up in the Nemomobile, which, for some reason, he's claimed as his own for the moment. Go figure.]

**Sawyer: **[grins at Mina and beckons her to get in the car]

**Mina: **[rolls her eyes again]

_You're one of those guys who likes to shine his machine _

_You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in _

_I can't believe you kiss your car good night _[Sawyer looks indignant]

_C'mon baby tell me – you must be jokin', right! _

_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special _

_Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else_

Okay, so you've got a car

_That don't impress me much _

_So you got the moves but have you got the touch _

_Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright _

_But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night _

[the three men try desperately to get Mina's attention.]

_That don't impress me much _

_You think you're cool but have you got the touch _

_Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright _

_But that won't keep me warm on the long, cold, lonely night _

_That don't impress me much _

Okay, so what do you think you're Elvis or something...

Whatever

_That don't impress me._

[Music ends, and Mina leaves Dorian, Jekyll and Sawyer looking quite confused and dejected.]

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A/N: Hehehe! Now for a solo by Quartermain! Yay! I've finally come up with a song for him! XD


	6. Tired Old Quatermain

A/N: Here I am to save the day! ::corny superhero music:: I'm all smiles today, because one: this chapter gives me hilarious images of Sean Connery and two: school is out and I'm officially a senior! XD

**elven-emma – **Hyde tap-dancing? ::grins mischievously:: That gives me an idea…

**Raven Silvers – **I'm certain Skinner is around here somewhere… ::looks around:: Y'know, he'd be a lot easier to find if he wasn't invisible.

**_Disclaimer: _**The League _still _isn't mine. Neither is the song, which is _At Least I'm Not Like All Those Other Old Guys _by the group Five Iron Frenzy.

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[Quatermain is in his stateroom on the Nautilus. He's looking in a mirror and thinking of ways he could be cool… not that he isn't, but… well… yeah. He wants to be cool like us young people… hehehe!]

**Quatermain: **_I'm seventy-four years old,_

_Still wearing the wallet chain,_

_Like I was twenty-eight._

_I'm wearing my Vans right now,_ [looks down at his shoes]

_So high school kids will think that I can skate._

_I've got a degree in science,_

_Yet shaking my fists in defiance._

_Anyway, I'm not cliché,_

_I hardly own any ties._

_I may be old,_

_But at least I'm not like all those other old guys._

_I'm watching MTV,_

_For fashion tips,_

_So I can say,_

_That I saw it first._

[puts a hat on backwards] _Backwards hat,_

_Tattoos,_

_And goatee say I'm cool,_

_Just like Fred Durst._

_I pay almost all my bills,_

_I sleep on a futon still._

_Anyway, I'm not cliché,_

_I might not even die._

_I may be old,_

_But at least I'm not like all those other old guys._

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A/N: The line about the "I might not even die" is what really reminded me of Quatermain, but now you get my statement about the funny images of Sean Connery. Right-o… next up [because it's fun to give you little previews] a little song by our favorite American Agent. XD


	7. Words of Wisdom

A/N: Here I be, back with more randomness. Hehehe – I'm a very random person. So far, you all found my new images of Quatermain amusing! Huzzah! Right-o, y'all wanted to hear Tom's song, so here it is!

**funyun – **You play softball? Huzzah! Me too! What position do you play?

**Miss-Smilla – **Skinner will get a solo, I promise. I've already got the perfect song for him.

**Chasten-chan – **Did I disturb you with that one? Hehehe… tottered. That's a fun word.

**Sean M. Cogan – **Plot? What is this plot thing you speak of? Actually, I can't come up with a plot for this insanity, but if you have ideas that would be great.

**Lily Bengal – **You _should _know this one. If you don't, I shall beat you with a booshy stick!

**_Disclaimer: _**You'd think by now, I'd own something. Alas, I still don't. I really must work on that problem. Anyway, the song is _Mama Says _from the musical, _Footloose. _[And I mean the Broadway version, not the movie.] Also, I had to change "Mama" to "Auntie" for the obvious reason that dear ol' Tom was raised by his Aunt Polly. XP

**

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**

[For lack of a plot, or anything of the like, we find Tom, Nemo, Jekyll, and Skinner in the Nautilus' dining room. Suddenly, enter Dorian.]

**Dorian: **Beg pardon, but I need some advice about…

**Sawyer: **Well, you know what my Aunt Polly says…

**Dorian **[looks a little miffed about being interrupted]**: **Your Aunt? I frankly don't care about your Aunt.

**Sawyer:** Hey! My Aunt Polly happens to be a very smart woman.

[Music begins] _Everything I ever learned _

_That gets me through the worst _

_I learned at my Auntie's knee _

_Now, anytime I'm turned around _

_I turn to Auntie first _

_And you'd be wise _

_To memorize _

_What Auntie says to me _

[Proudly] Now, Auntie ain't been wrong yet. And I'm the living proof

**Skinner: **Take that for what it's worth! [Sawyer glares at him]

**Sawyer: **_Auntie says _

_Don't use a toaster while standing in the shower _

_Now who can argue with that? _

_Auntie says _

_Don't hold your breath for longer than an hour _

_The woman knows where it's at! _

_And Auntie says it doesn't matter _

_If you're a king or you're a clown _

_Once you drive up a mountain _

_You can't back down _

Now, you've not yet had the pleasure of meeting my Auntie. C'mon and help me out here, Fellas.

**Skinner, Jekyll & Nemo [the Fellas]:** _Auntie says_

**Sawyer:** _Don't drink hot coffee lying down in bed _

_Don't even give it a thought_

**Fellas: **It's a mess!

_Auntie says_

**Sawyer:** _Never eat anything that's bigger than your head _

_Is she a whiz or what?_

**Fellas: **Oh, yes!

**Sawyer: **_And Auntie says it doesn't matter _

_If you're a king or you're a clown _

_Once you drive up a mountain _

_You can't back down_

_Once you drive up a mountain _

_You can't back down _

_Auntie makes a lot of sense _

_If you know how to listen _

_She is clear and concise _

_Others say, "I love her son, _

_But she's got marbles missin'."_

_But I say, "Hey! It's free advice, _

_What do you expect at that price?"_

**Fellas:** _Auntie says_

**Sawyer: **_What you believe in is all you really own _

_And I believe that she's right_

**Fellas:** _Auntie says_

**Sawyer:** _If you've got doubts, _

_Well then boy you're not alone _

_Just means you're ready to fight _

_And Auntie says it doesn't matter _

_If you're a king or you're a clown _

_Once you drive up a mountain _

_You can't back down, down, down, down… _

**Jekyll:** _You can turn up the heat _

**Nemo: **_You can turn up the road _

**Sawyer: **_You can carry a beat _

**Skinner: **_You can carry a load _

**Jekyll: **_You can throw a fit _

**Nemo: **_You can throw a punch _

**Sawyer: **_You can bring up a child_ ****

**Skinner:** _You can bring up your lunch! _[The others give him a disgusted look]

A One, Two, Three

**All:** _And Auntie says it doesn't matter_

**Sawyer:** _If you drive a hard bargain or drive around town _

**All: **_Once you drive up a mountain _

_You can't back down _

_Once you drive up a mountain _

_You can't back down! _

[Sawyer exits and the music ends. Dorian is looking very relieved that this ridiculous number is over, when all of a sudden… Re-enter Sawyer.]

**Sawyer: **I thought of one more thing... __

[Music starts again] _Auntie says _

_Don't buy a chandelier unless you've got a ceiling _

_I don't know what that's about _

_Auntie says _

_Don't chew on tin foil unless you like that feeling _

_Somehow she figured that out _

**Fellas: **_And Auntie says _

_It doesn't matter _

_If you're a king or you're a clown _

_Once you drive up a mountain_

**Sawyer: **_Remember, boy _

_Everyone's countin' on you _

**All: **_Once you drive up a mountain _

_You can't back down! _

**Sawyer: **That's my Auntie!

[Dorian rolls his eyes and leaves. He doesn't want to ask for advice anymore for fear it would spark another musical number.]

**

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A/N: Ta-da! Ah, _Footloose _brings back special memories for me. It was the first production I've ever been in. ::sigh:: Right… now for the little previews! Next: A song by one Mr. Dorian Gray. Next after next: Our favorite gentleman thief gets his solo!


	8. Talk About Dorian

A/N: I'm back! Here I am with the Dorian solo I promised you all! Hehehe! Let the madness continue! **SLINIKIES FOR ALL MY REVIEWERS! **Slinkies rock my socks off!

**freedomfighter82 – **Do you know how many people told me Dorian should sing "I'm Too Sexy"? A lot! I'll keep it in mind for later on!

**funyun – **Ah, the loverly softball tan! Yup, gotta love that! I play 2nd base, and anywhere else the coach wants to stick me – except pitcher or catcher. I can't pitch and the catching equipment doesn't fit me! I'm too tiny!

**_Disclaimer: _**Still own nothing, except LXG on DVD! [Watch it with the commentary – it's funny!] Anyway, I don't own the song either, but my sister does have the CD! It's _I Wanna Talk About Me _by Toby Keith.

* * *

[Actually, the reason Dorian was seeking advise was he needed to know how to shut a vampire up! Dorian had annoyed Mina so badly with is behavior in chapter 5, that she decided to seek revenge by talking him to death! That's not really working anyway, since he's immortal. Now, Dorian has decided to seek his _own_ revenge, by singing!]

**Mina: **[is babbling nonstop about anything that comes to mind]

**Dorian **[looks thoroughly annoyed]**: **[cue music!] _We talk about your work how your boss is a jerk_

_We talk about your church and your head when it hurts_

_We talk about the troubles you've been having with your brother_

_About your daddy and your mother and your crazy ex-lover_

**Mina: **That would be _you_, Dorian…

**Dorian **[ignores her]**: **_We talk about your friends and the places that you've been_

_We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin_

_The polish on your toes and the run in your hose_

_And God knows we're gonna talk about your clothes_

_You know talking about you makes me smile_

_But every once in awhile_

_I wanna talk about me_

_Wanna talk about I_

_Wanna talk about number one _

_Oh my me my_

_What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see_

_I like talking about you, you, you, you, usually, but occasionally_

_I wanna talk about me_

_I wanna talk about me_

_We talk about your dreams and we talk about your schemes_

_Your high school team and your moisturizer cream_

_We talk about your nanna up in Muncie, Indiana_

_We talk about your grandma down in Alabama_

_We talk about your guys of every shape and size_

_The ones that you despise and the ones you idolize _[grins]

_We talk about your heart, about your brains and your smarts_

_And your medical charts and when you start_

**Mina: **[looks indignant]

**Dorian: **_You know talking about you makes me grin_

_But every now and then_

_I wanna talk about me_

_Wanna talk about I_

_Wanna talk about number one _

_Oh my me my_

_What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see_

_I like talking about you, you, you, you, usually, but occasionally_

_I wanna talk about me_

_I wanna talk about me_

[Gets in her face] You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you-you-you-you-you!

I wanna talk about me!

_I wanna talk about me_

_Wanna talk about I_

_Wanna talk about number one _

_Oh my me my_

_What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see_

_I like talking about you, usually, but occasionally_

_I wanna talk about me_

_I wanna talk about me_

**Mina: **Then you can talk about yourself _by _yourself! I'm leaving. [She leaves]

* * *

A/N: It's preview time! In chapter 9, Skinner gets his solo! Chapter 10, another Muppet-inspired group number!


	9. Rodney Cellophane

A/N: Hello all! Are you enjoying your Slinkies? This one is for all you Skinner fans out there…

**Lonely hearts –** Hm… She's married to the muffin man? It's always fun to BSU!

**Sean M. Cogan – **::sings:: Lettuce entertain you! Lettuce make you smile! [Hehehe, lettuce. Let us. Get it.] Err… bad joke. I'm glad you find this entertaining!

**morph – **Thankee. For you, I have a Nightcrawler plushie. [BTW, you really need to update "Nightcrawler Spirit."]

**funyun – **You need to give your imagination a good workout, girl.

**Pineapple Princess – **Yes, I like to give Slinkies to people. Here, have another Slinky.

**Nicky007 –** Look, I used your new name! Yes, go Mina! [She's gonna toy with the boys a _lot _in this fic.]

**Graymoon74 –** Thank you, oh Crazy One. [And I mean that with love.] XD

**freedomfighter82 – **Bigot? Am I sensing some ill feelings toward Dorian?

**ZephyrBreez – **Hooray for old musicals! ::sings:: "Them women were sobbin', sobbin', sobbin' fit to be tied!" Hehehe – a _Seven Brides for Seven Brothers _moment. Ooh, cookies! Yum! Here, you can have some ice cream cause it's good reviewing food.

**Verona Dracula – **Gee, do you think you're amused enough by this fic? Here, have a Muppet plushie.

**elven-emma – **I particularly love Tony's Connery impression! It's so freakishly good.

**Clez –** Spiffy is now one of my new favorite words! Spiffy! 

**_Disclaimer: _**How does one go about owning the League? I haven't figured that out yet, so I still don't own any of them. Bummer. Right-o, here's the song: _Mister Cellophane _from _Chicago._ [Who knew John C. Reilly could sing? I sure didn't.]

* * *

[Skinner is feeling a little ignored because he wasn't really in the last couple of musical numbers. Poor guy. Right now, he's sitting in front of one of those movie star-esque vanities with the lights all around the mirror. The music begins…]

**Skinner: **[begins applying greasepaint to his face]

_If someone stood up in a crowd_

_And raised his voice up way out loud_

_And waved his arm_

_And shook his leg_

_You'd notice him_

_If someone in the movie show_

_Yelled, "Fire in the second row,_

_This whole place is a powder keg!"_

_You'd notice him_

_And even without clucking like a hen_

_Everyone gets noticed now and then_

_Unless of course that personage should be_

_Invisible, inconsequential me!_

[Gets up and begins doing that nifty John C. Reilly dance across the room]

_Cellophane_

_Mister Cellophane_

_Should have been my name_

_Mister Cellophane_

_'Cause you can look right through me_

_Walk right by me_

_And never know I'm there_

_I tell ya_

_Cellophane_

_Mister Cellophane_

_Should have been my name_

_Mister Cellophane_

_'Cause you can look right through me_

_Walk right by me_

_And never know I'm there_

_Suppose you was a little cat_

_Residin' in a person's flat_

_Who fed you fish and scratched your ears?_

_You'd notice him_

_Suppose you was a woman wed_

_And sleepin' in a double bed_

_Beside one man for seven years_

_You'd notice him_

_A human being's made of more than air_

_With all that bulk you're bound to see_

_Him there_

_Unless that human being next to you_

_Is unimpressive, undistinguished_

_You know who…_

_Should have been my name_

_Mister Cellophane_

_'Cause you can look right through me_

_Walk right by me_

_And never know I'm there_

_I tell ya_

_Cellophane_

_Mister Cellophane_

_Should have been my name_

_Mister Cellophane_

_'Cause you can look right through me_

_Walk right by me_

_And never know I'm there_

_Never even know…_

_… I'm there!_

[Pauses and thinks]

Hm… 'Rodney Cellophane, gentleman thief' just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[Shrugs]

Never mind. [He goes off to see if he can annoy somebody.]

* * *

A/N: Aw. Gotta love Skinner. Preview time! Chapter 10: A Muppet-inspired group number. You all don't get to know about chapter 11… it's a surprise! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!


	10. We Got Us!

A/N: Da-da-daaa! I'm here to amuse you with my Muppet Musical stylings! Sorry it took so long to update this darned thing, but my spare time as of late has been nil. That sucks.

**elvenmalka523** **– **What do you mean Mina needs her own song? What do you call chapter 5?

**Perin Thunderholder – **You _really_ need to see _Chicago!_

**Graymoon74 – **::blushes:: You really think I'm brilliant? Aw… shucks…

**schizomaniax – **Wow. Did you write me a review or a novel? All right! Lighter fluid! I was beginning to run out. Here, have a Pyro plushie!

**Cecily – **Actually, I've only seen the movie. The "suppose you was a little cat" verse is on the soundtrack, so I stuck it in.

**Chasten-chan – **If all I have to do is come up with a witty chapter title to amuse you, I'm all set. Congratulations! ::tosses confetti:: You are the 100th person to review this fic! You get a Dorian plushie with special decapitating action – just take off his head and he puts it right back on! XD

**Xaviere Jade – **Many thanks for putting this in your live journal.

**_Disclaimer: _**The League has been avoiding me for making them sing such ridiculous songs, so now I'm _really _far away from owning them. Ah, oh well. Ok, before I tell you the song, I'm going to tell you its source. I have this incredibly awesome CD entitled _The Muppet Show 25th Anniversary Collection: Music Mayhem and More!_ It's got all sorts of Muppet songs on it, and it's provided most of my inspiration for this fic. So, every time I reference "My Muppet CD" that's what I'm talking about. So, that said, the song is _We Got Us _from My Muppet CD.

* * *

[The lights are low and as they come up, we are able to see a grand piano. Mina is seated atop it, while Dorian is playing. Why? Cause after all those years of living Dorian _should_ at least be able to play the piano!]

**Mina:** _Life is a funny thing_

_Sometimes you laugh and sing_

**Dorian:** _Sometimes you grumble and cuss_

**Mina: **Knock it off. [Dorian stops playing the piano and the fun music kicks in!]

_But either way what do we care?_

**Both:** _We got us_

**Dorian: **[grumbles] Unfortunately.

**Skinner: **[pops up from behind the piano]_We have our ups and downs_

_Our share of smiles and frowns_

**Quatermain:** [Enters from stage right] _But through it all we don't fuss_

**Sawyer:** [Enters from stage left] _'Cause we got a special thing goin'_

**All: **_We got us_

**Jekyll:** [Pops up next to Skinner] _Some people like to go through their life single_

_Aw, that wouldn't suit us at all_

**Nemo:** [Pops up on the other side of Skinner] _Why sing a melody as a soliloquy_

_When it's more fun to be_

**All: **_Harmonizing!_

**Sawyer: **Come on everybody!

[Everyone comes together to form… what else but a cancan line!]

**All: **_People, they say we are_

_Crazy the way we are_

_That we won't even discuss_

_'Cause what we got they can't smother_

_We'd trade our life for no other_

_They've only got one another_

_But we got us!_

[Big finish! They all strike cheesy poses and the lights go out.]

* * *

A/N: Ok, now you're all thinking "Here's the part where I get to see what's coming next!" Wrong! Chapter 11 is still a surprise! You shall not know until I tell you! [And if you _do_ know, don't breathe a word to anyone or I will hunt you down and feed you to my tigers!]


	11. Hyde's Happy Feet

A/N: Hello all! My it seems I've grown a few more fans during this fic's little dormant streak. [Sorry about the dormant thing, but I'm inherently lazy.] Ok, this chapter is officially dedicated to **elven-emma**, since she planted the idea in my head! Go you Emma!

**elvenmalka523 – **Mina will get another song, don't you worry!

**The Lady Thief – **Yup, I've got tigers. ::whistles and the tigers come running:: Say hello to my nice reviewers!

            **Remy, Bongo & Brak: **_RAR!_

**schizomaniax – **Hiding under a rock has not got to be very comfortable. Here, have an invisibility cloak so you won't get caught…

**Faust – **I'm certain Cecily enjoys the fact that you're plugging her fic, but just to let you know, I am one of her most constant reviewers. XD

**Nimmo Gray – **I'm trying to be even. Everyone will get another number, no matter how much I have to rack my brain to come up with a song.

**Drakena the Destroyer – **The _Nightmare Before Christmas _has crossed my mind more than once. Nothing seems to fit, though. Oh well! Thanks for the suggestion.

**jordie78 – **Thank you very much. I'm glad you're enjoying it!

**_Disclaimer: _**The only things I own out of this whole random fic are my crazy ideas. Nothing else. Ok, now this song which I have been oh-so careful to keep secret is Kermit's rendition of _Happy Feet _from my Muppet CD.

* * *

[It is dark. We can hear the soft click of tap shoes as their wearer heads for center stage. The lights come on and – group gasp – it's Hyde! He wears a top hat and carries a cane.]

**Hyde: **The time has come to answer the question that has baffled mankind through the ages. Namely: "Can the evil alter ego tap-dance?" The answer is… hit it!

[Music starts] _Happy feet, I've got those happy feet_

_Give them a low down beat_

_And they begin dancing_

[Hyde begins dancing] _I've got those ten little tapping toes_

_And when they hear a tune_

_I can't control my dancing heels_

_To save my soul_

_Weary blues can't get into my shoes_

_Because my shoes refuse to ever grow weary_

_I keep cheerful on an earful of music sweet_

_'Cause I've got happ happ happy feet_

[Musical interlude! During which Hyde tap-dances from one side of the room to the other. He's actually quite good… who knew?]

_Weary blues can't get in my shows_

_Because my shoes refuse to ever grow weary_

_I keep cheerful on an earful of music sweet_

_'Cause I've got happ happ happy_

_'Cause I've got happ happ happy feet_

Feet!

[The music ends abruptly and the lights go out again, leaving all of us wondering 'Did I just see what I thought I saw?']

* * *

A/N: I think that's so funny! Ok, now the previews can start again. I've got nothing to hide! Chapter 12 – a song by Sawyer that should make all of you ladies go "HELL YEAH!" Until then!


	12. Save A Horse

A/N: Chapter 12 is here! Huzzah! Are you all ready to go "Hell yeah"? [Or, "hell yes" if you're Nicky.]

**Cecily – **Have you read _Graymoon74's _"LXG Goes Pink"? It involves Nemo in a tu-tu! [But it's way warped, so read at your own risk!]

**Clez – **::pokes back:: Hehehe! I just wanted to do that!

**Lady Lirin – **You and your selective memory! You had better know this song, or I'll have to beat you!

**freedomfighter82 – **Agg! Not so loud next time! I'm going to go deaf! XD

**Faust – **_Chicago _rocks my socks! Of course I've seen it! I had Skinner sing "Mr. Cellophane" in chapter 9!

**_Disclaimer: _**League – not mine. Song – not mine either. Bummer. Any-who, the song of the day is _Save A Horse (Ride A Cowboy) _by Big & Rich. [I absolutely LOVE this song!]

* * *

[Today, we find Sawyer in the Nautilus' dining room with his feet propped on the table, munching on an apple. Dorain comes strolling in and all I can say is "Thank God is wasn't Nemo!" Lord only knows what he'd do if he caught Tom with his feet on the table!]

**Dorian: **[gives Sawyer a disgusted look]

**Sawyer: **What?

**Dorian: **You have no class.

**Sawyer: **[raises an eyebrow] So?

**Dorian: **[scoffs] So? So, it's no wonder Mina sees nothing in you! You are just a classless cowboy!

**Sawyer: **Are you kidding me? Cowboys don't _need _class!

**Dorian: **Oh, yes?

**Sawyer: **Yes… [music starts and Sawyer jumps up onto the table]

_Well, I walk into the room _

_Passing out hundred dollar bills _

_And it kills and it thrills like the horns on my Silverado grill _

_And I buy the bar a double round of Crown _

_And everybody's getting down _

_An' this town ain't never gonna be the same. _

_Cause I saddle up my horse _

_And I ride into the city _

_I make a lot of noise _

_Cause the girls _

_They are so pretty _

_Riding up and down Broadway _

_On my old stud Leroy _

_And the girls say _

_Save a horse, ride a cowboy. _

_Everybody says _

_Save a horse, ride a cowboy _

**Dorian: **[looks a little astounded]

**Sawyer: **_Well I don't give a dang about nothing _

_I'm singing and Bling-Blinging _

_While the girls are drinking _

_Long necks down! _

_And I wouldn't trade ol' Leroy _

_Or my Chevrolet for your Escalade _

_Or your freak parade _

_I'm the only John Wayne left in this town_

_And I saddle up my horse _

_And I ride into the city _

_I make a lot of noise _

_Cause the girls _

_They are so pretty _

_Riding up and down Broadway _

_On my old stud Leroy _

_And the girls say _

_Save a horse, ride a cowboy. _

_Everybody says _

_Save a horse, ride a cowboy _

**Dorian: **[is still not sure how to react]

**Sawyer: **[sits down on the edge of the table]

Well, I'm a thoroughbred

That's what she said

In the back of my truck bed

As I was gettin' buzzed on suds

Out on some back country road.

We where flying high

Fine as wine, having ourselves a big and rich time

And I was going, just about as far as she'd let me go.

But her evaluation

Of my cowboy reputation

Had me begging for salvation

All night long

So I took her out giggin' frogs

Introduced her to my old bird dog

And sang her every Willie Nelson song I could think of

And we made love! [jumps up again]

_And I saddle up my horse _

_And I ride into the city _

_I make a lot of noise _

_Cause the girls _

_They are so pretty _

_Riding up and down Broadway _

_On my old stud Leroy _

_And the girls say _

_Save a horse, ride a cowboy. _

_Everybody says _

_Save a horse, ride a cowboy _

[Sawyer "raises the roof"] What? What?

_Save A Horse, ride a cowboy _

_Everybody says _

_Save a Horse, ride a cowboy._

[music ends and Sawyer hops off the table] Who needs class?

[With that, he snatched up his apple and strolls out.]

* * *

A/N: I love playing on the Dorian-and-Sawyer-are-from-opposite-ends-of-the-spectrum thing. Any-who, preview time! Chapter 13 [13! My lucky number!] – Poor Jekyll takes a trip to Brokenheartsville. [I'm on a country music fix. So sue me!] Anyway, I write these as I think of them, so everyone else WILL get another song, but it may take me a while to think of them…


	13. Brokenheartsville

A/N: The long-dormant ficcie lives! Huzzah! Sorry all – I seemed to have dropped off the fanfiction world temporarily, but never fear, for I'm back now! XD

**freedomfighter82 – **Your review was quite amusing! ::ducks as fantasies come flying in, searching for you:: Yipes!

**Clez – **Thank you for hell yeah-ing!

**i luv tom – **That was a very random story. Big & Rich are _very_ different from your average country music! I just go their CD, _Horse of a Different Color,_ and it's SO good! Go buy it! ::sings:: "Country boys don't rock and roll, yeah, the record man told me so…"

**Lady Lilrin – **Joe Nichols… ::drools:: He's _so_ hot!

**Faust – **See this? This is my fic _not _fading into the dust!

**_Disclaimer: _**Even dropping off the fanfiction planet doesn't make the League any closer to being mine! Grr! The song's ALSO not mine, and dropping off the planet didn't help that either. Anyway, it's _Brokenheartsville _by the absolutely delectable Joe Nichols… RAR!

**

* * *

**

(The Nautilus has docked, giving the League some much-needed tome on dry land. (Except for Nemo, who's practically a fish and could _live_ at sea.) We find Skinner in Sawyer in one of the local bars. Suddenly, Dr. Jekyll comes in and sits between Skinner and Sawyer. He looks rather depressed.)

(Music starts and we have a random flashback moment: Mina and Jekyll are waking down the street, having a nice conversation and genuinely enjoying each other's company. When Dorian pulls up in a red car. He beckons her inside, being very suave. Without giving Jekyll so much as a second glance, Mina hops in the car and the pair speed off. End random flashback moment…)

**Jekyll: **_He wore that bowler hat_

_To cover up his horns_

_Sweet talkin' forked tongue _

_Had a tempting charm_

_Before I turned around_

_That girl was gone_

_All I can say is _

_Bartender pour me something strong_

(the bartender pours him a drink)

_Here's to the past _

_They can kiss my glass_

_I hope she's happy with him_

_Here's to the girl_

_Who wrecked my world_

_That angel that did me in_

_I think the devil _

_Drives a Coup de Ville_

_I watched him drive away over the hill_

_Not against her will_

_And I've got time to kill_

_Down in Brokenheartsville_

(Musical interlude. Jekyll turns to Sawyer, who looks just as depressed as he does)

Why are you here?

**Sawyer: **(sullenly) Mina.

**Jekyll: **You too, huh? (he turns to Skinner) What about you?

**Skinner:** (is slightly drunk) Who? Me? I'm just here for the bar girls!

**Sawyer: **(rolls his eyes then asks Jekyll:) Hey, what's a Coup de Ville anyway?

**Jekyll: **_It was long and chrome_

_Sittin' in the lot_

_Fire engine red_

_That thing was hot_

_He revved it up_

_She waved goodbye_

_Love's gone to hell_

_And so have I_

_Here's to the past_

_They can kiss my glass_

_I hope she's happy with him_

_Here's to the girl_

_Who wrecked my world_

_That angel that did me in_

_I think the devil _

_Drives a Coup de Ville_

_I watched him drive away over the hill_

_Not against her will_

_And I've got time to kill_

_Down in Brokenheartsville_

**Sawyer and Jekyll: **_Here's to the past_

_They can kiss my glass_

_I hope she's happy with him_

_Here's to the girl_

_Who wrecked my world_

_That angel that did me in_

_I think the devil _

_Drives a Coup de Ville_

_I watched him drive away over the hill_

_Not against her will_

_And I've got time to kill_

_Down in Brokenheartsville_

**Sawyer and Skinner: **(Are very, **very**,** VERY **drunk, and they shout the words more than sing them)

I think the devil

Drives a Coup de Ville!

I watched him drive away over the hill!

Not against her will!

And I've got time to kill!

Down in Brokenheartsville!

(The music fades. Skinner promptly passes out at the bar, and Sawyer nearly falls off of his bar stool. Jekyll looks at the two, and carefully inspects his drink. He thinks better of it and sets it on the bar and walks out.)

**

* * *

**

A/N: Ta-da! I hope that was worth the wait! Now, chapter 14 – Dorian and a special guest star get to sing a duet! Huzzah! After that… you'll just have to wait and see! ::insert evil laughter here::


	14. Only Skin Deep

A/N: Hullo! I'm back with madness enough for all! **LEGOS FOR ALL OF YOU WHO REVIEWED!** I have an odd Lego obsession… don't ask. Also, Dorian refers to himself in the third person in this song for some odd reason.

**Disclaimer: **I'm a poor teenager with no job! WAAAH! Ok, the song: _Evil is Only Skin Deep_ from Brak Presents the Brak Album Starring Brak.

**

* * *

**

(A lone spotlight finds Dorian yet again sitting at the piano. I've decided to put his piano-playing skills to good use! There is someone sitting across from him on a stool, but we can't see who – it's too dark.)

(Dorian begins playing the piano)

**Dorian: **_People are so quick to judge_

_And shun my point of view_

(The lights come up and we see our visitor… Whoa! IT'S M!)

**M: **_They figure all you got inside_

_Are quarts of goppy goo_

**Dorian: **_If they got to know Dorian_

_They'd know I have feelings too_

**M: **(scoffs) You're joking right?

**Dorian: **No, it's true.

**M: **(looks a little disappointed) Oh.

**Dorian:**_ Often time I'm quite confused_

_And utterly distressed_

**M: **_Like when you pile drive some jerk_

_And make his head a mess_

**Dorian: **(looks at M like "Ookay… whatever")

_It makes Dorian sad to BANG someone into next week_

**M: **_I guess evil is only skin deep_

**Dorian: **_Deep_

**Random echo: **_Deep_

**Dorian: **_Down in my guts_

**Random echo: **_Guts_

**Dorian: **_There must be a spark of goodness hiding_

**M: **_What?_

_What?_

_What are ya? Nuts?_

**Random echo: **_Nuts_

**M: **_Who'd ever take the time to find it?_

**Dorian: **(looks hurt) Hey man, that hurts.

**M: **Sorry. You all right?

**Dorian: **Yeah, I'm ok.

**M: **_If people are so quick to judge_

_Why should you change?_

**Dorian: **_I live my life the way I like_

_Happily deranged_ (smiles evilly)

**M: **_So what if every now and then_

_Some havoc you wreak?_

**Dorian: **_Evil is only skin deep_

**M: **Isn't it?

**Both: **_Evil is only skin deep!_

(The lights fade out and all of a sudden…)

**Nemo: **HOW DID HE GET ON MY SHIP?!?!

**Dorian: **Run for it M!

(After much crashing and yelling, the scene ends.)

**

* * *

**

A/N: Hehehe! Ok, scene next: Let Quatermain do what he wants. It's his life after all.


	15. Life and Deja Vu

A/N: Look, I didn't die! My computer did, but I'm still alive. Sorry for the wait. And as for my other fics, they're trapped within the cold clutches of the dead computer. It'll take me a while to get those back onto their feet. Ok, moving on…

**Disclaimer:** I asked Santa to give me the League, and he said no… well, after he stopped laughing, he said no. I don't own the song either. It's: _It's My Life_ by Bon Jovi. (Points to **freedomfighter82** for guessing correctly!)

* * *

_(The League has long since re-boarded the Nautilus… after they tracked down M and kicked him off the boat… er, ship. Nemo is now informing his guests that it's time for dinner… whoa, déjà vu!)_

**Nemo:** I could provide a jacket if you require it.

**Sawyer: **(comes around the corner) Whoa. I just got the weirdest feeling that I've heard you say that before.

**Quatermain:**You and me both.

**Sawyer: **Isn't this the part where you to start talking about putting your lives in danger?

**Nemo: **I'm hardly in the mood to talk about that now.

**Quatermain: **Well, _I_ on the other hand…

(music begins)

**Dorian: **(comes down the hall) Oh no. He's not going to _sing_, is he? (The others nod)

**Quatermain: **_This ain't a song for the broken-hearted _

_A silent prayer for the faith-departed _

_I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd _

_You're gonna hear my voice _

_When I shout it out loud _

_It's my life _

_It's now or never _

_I ain't gonna live forever _

_I just want to live while I'm alive _

**Sawyer **(randomly from the background) _It's my life_

**Quatermain: **_My heart is like an open highway _

_Like Frankie said _

_I did it my way _

_I just wanna live while I'm alive _

_It's my life _

_This is for the ones who stood their ground _

_For Tommy and Mina who never backed down _

_Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake _

_Luck ain't even lucky _

_Got to make your own breaks _

_It's my life _

_And it's now or never _

_I ain't gonna live forever _

_I just want to live while I'm alive _

**Sawyer: **_It's my life_

**Quatermain: **_My heart is like an open highway _

_Like Frankie said _

_I did it my way _

_I just want to live while I'm alive _

_'Cause it's my life _

_Better stand tall when they're calling you out _

_Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down _

_It's my life _

_And it's now or never _

_'Cause I ain't gonna live forever _

_I just want to live while I'm alive_

**Sawyer: **_It's my life_

**Quatermain: **_My heart is like an open highway _

_Like Frankie said _

_I did it my way _

_I just want to live while I'm alive _

_It's my life _

_And it's now or never _

_'Cause I ain't gonna live forever _

_I just want to live while I'm alive _

**Sawyer: **_It's my life_

**Quatermain: **_My heart is like an open highway _

_Like Frankie said _

_I did it my way _

_I just want to live while I'm alive _

_'Cause it's my life!_

**Dorian:** It seems I can't go anywhere without someone singing!

* * *

A/N: Next chapter: A Christmas special! Huzzah! 


End file.
